| i don't care if it's overplayed. |
[18 Jun 2010|11:05pm] |
i heard there was a secret chord
that david played and it pleased the lord
but you don't really care for music, do you
well it goes like this the fourth, the fifth
the minor fall and the major lift
the baffled king composing hallelujah
hallelujah...
well your faith was strong but you needed proof
you saw her bathing on the roof
her beauty and the moonlight overthrew you
she tied you to her kitchen chair
she broke your throne and she cut your hair
and from your lips she drew the hallelujah
hallelujah...
baby i've been here before
i've seen this room and i've walked this floor
i used to live alone before i knew you
i've seen your flag on the marble arch
but love is not a victory march
it's a cold and it's a broken hallelujah
hallelujah...
well there was a time when you let me know
what's really going on below
but now you never show that to me do you
but remember when i moved in you
and the holy dove was moving too
and every breath we drew was hallelujah
well, maybe there's a god above
but all i've ever learned from love
was how to shoot somebody who outdrew you
it's not a cry that you hear at night
it's not somebody who's seen the light
it's a cold and it's a broken hallelujah
hallelujah...
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| blah |
[19 Dec 2009|12:41pm] |
had a dream/nightmare
ground my teeth so hard my jaw popped out of place. woke up and couldn't open my mouth more than an inch.
i think it's my brain remembering what happened last year.
stupid dream.
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[21 Oct 2009|01:41pm] |
god has nothing on me.
it took him an entire 7 days to make the earth.
i shattered mine in 7 seconds.
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| fuck. |
[11 Jun 2009|12:04am] |
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i am so damned bored. even my boyfriend doesnt want to come over. fml.
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| argh god DAMNIT |
[20 Apr 2009|11:00pm] |
i don't want to be in college. i don't want to be an adult. i want to fucking not have to think about the future. i don't want to have to go to college for 5 years because the school of education decided that for me to become a teacher - where i will be paid crap money - i should spend a whole ton of money on an extra year of school. AWESOME. FUCKING SWEET. from pre school til i graduate i will have been in school for
NINETEEN YEARS STRAIGHT.
OH MY GOD. FUCK MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE. *sobs*
i can't believe i'm PAYING for this to happen to me.
i feel totally desperate and hopeless. i don't know if i can do this. i don't know if i can handle another two years. i can't quit or take a year off. i'm not fucking qualified to do anything other than work retail. seriously. that is NOT what i want to do with my life. i want to be a fucking art teacher. why are they making it so hard???? why is it that you can't teach after you graduate with a bachelors in education???? that doesnt make sense!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ARGH. if i dont do the ptpp program then i would have to go to a different college somewhere else and do a post bac program. and even then either way i still have to take this stupid test to get certified that costs a billion dollars just to take.
I"M GOING TO EXPLODE.
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[28 Jan 2009|02:31pm] |
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i am tired of seeing your ghost. i wish you would leave.
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| deja vu |
[08 Jan 2009|12:48pm] |
i have no idea what shit you have been telling people about this.
but i know the truth.
and someday you will regret this as much as i regret the last six months.
"youre the only one i know who makes an effort. youre my friend. even in my senior year you were, thus you will always be."
that actually meant a lot to me at the time.
and this is the very last time i will write about this. because you aren't even close to worth it.
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| really??? |
[03 Jan 2009|03:04pm] |
if you seriously did all of this because of THAT i am going to hate you forever. after everything? after all this?
everyone's caught on to everything you do
and i can't let you let me down again
so, is that what you call a getaway?
tell me what you got away with
cause I've seen more spine in jellyfish
i've seen more guts in eleven-year-old kids
have another drink and drive yourself home
i hope there's ice on all the roads
and you can think of me when you forget your seatbelt
and again when your head goes through the windshield
and is that what you call tact?
you're as subtle as a brick in the small of my back
so let's end this call, and end this conversation
and is that what you call a getaway?
well tell me what you got away with
cause you left the frays from the ties you severed
when you say best friends means friends forever.
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| alright |
[02 Jan 2009|10:45pm] |
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im officially not holding my breath anymore.
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| oh my goodness |
[11 Dec 2008|06:06pm] |
i dont know if any of you know this... but i adore the state press (asu's newspaper). i read it pretty much every day. today (i am guessing to make students laugh since we are all stressed out with finals) they filled the whole thing with fake stories. headlines read such things as:
Crow: 99 problems; bitch not one (crow is the university pres)
Congress bails out Sea World
Cronkite School runs strictly on static electricity
gays-theyre everywhere!
Teacher/student relations would quell sexual desires for all (my favorite)
tempe town lake infested
Palin:"Thats my crown you dumb BITCH"
Bob Newhart dates your mom
and pretty much all the articles are accompanied by pretty sweet, if shitty, photoshoped pictures. my favorite is of Crow's head pasted on lil waynes body at the mtv vmas. i think im going to put it up on my door.
anyways. it jsut made me really happy. so i though i'd share it with you guys.
in other news im done with all school work. all i have left is to go into ceramics on monday, show 5 of my pieces, and leave. i have them all done... so no work left:)
HURRAH!
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| WHAT THE FUCK |
[29 Nov 2008|11:43am] |
The New York Times reports that at about 4:55 am on Friday, a crowd of more than 2,000 who had come out for holiday deals forced their way into the Valley Stream, NY store. The six or so workers manning the front could not hold the unruly crowd back. Witnesses said the doors shattered and 'the shrieking mob surged through in a blind rush for holiday bargains. and Jdimytai Damour was 'thrown back onto the black linoleum tiles and trampled in the stampede that streamed over and around him.'
The detective in charge of the investigation said the store lacked adequate security.
He also went on to call the scene “utter chaos” and said the “crowd was out of control" and that those who ran over the victim could face criminal charges.
“I’ve heard other people call this an accident, but it is not. Certainly it was a foreseeable act,” said the detective.
A witness told the media that shoppers behaved badly even as the store was being cleared AFTER the death, “When they were saying they had to leave, that an employee got killed, people were yelling, ‘I’ve been on line since yesterday morning. They kept shopping.”
SERIOUS??????!!!!!?????
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| argh |
[11 Apr 2008|11:40pm] |
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i am just so god damned tired of being alone all the god damned time. im going to lose it. or pick up smoking.
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[09 Apr 2008|12:11pm] |
only 3 weeks left of classes. fucking thank goddddddd.
mesa again tonight.
our lease ends on may 10th, but im going to move out of here asap. my last class is on.... the 28th or 29th and then i have finals on the 6th and the 7th. but i think that i will just move out on the 30th and drive out for my finals. i cant wait to get the fuck out of tempe.
i hear about the ca position in about a week. if i didnt get it i dont reallllllly know where the hell im going to live. we will see. probably at gateway. its only 450 a month. blah. i dunno.
cant wait for the summer...
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| you know what???? |
[07 Apr 2008|10:28pm] |
so i was fucking around on myspace/facebook because i have homework to do... and i realized that pretty much every girl i knew from both of the high schools that i went to who were stuck up bitches to me are now at least one of the following:
*fat/ter
*pregnant/has a child
*married
ive been really down lately... but that seriously cheered me up.
hahahahahahahahahaha
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[07 Apr 2008|11:00am] |
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where does it all go? these intangible truths that we send out into the universe. the acts that we preform under their guidance. aren't they just as real and true as any physical object around us? especially when these feelings and acts are so strong... how can they possibly just disappear? surely they go somewhere? i can imagine a whole stack of them laying somewhere. all of my truths from all these years. i don't believe that they are gone though, no. they are somewhere. and they are still truths.
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| sigh |
[06 Apr 2008|10:28pm] |
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dreams are hard to reach. your past is even harder. you can never have what you once did. life is not so kind. love, when shared by intellectual minds, can toss you up to the heavens. or drag you down to the depths of hell. the power you give them. dangerous game. the hottest love has the coldest end. what does one do when they've fallen into this hole called love? how do you get out? being left with a hollowed out chest and a colorless world is best described as empty. stuck between black and grey. intimacy. when you can look at a person and know you've been waiting your whole life to see them. comfort. when you hold one another in embrace and fit together like pieces from a puzzle. passion. laughter. the ability to see their worst, their funniest, their saddest, their helpless sides. and love them regardless. in fact, love them for all of it. love. when you'd rather be miserable with them than happy with anyone else. where the forte transforms to fortissimo. when you redefine what happiness is. but when it leaves.oh when it leaves.this new definition of happiness haunts you. ignorance is bliss. how could you miss what you never knew? a tasteless life. how to achieve fortissimo again. love. passion. hatred. depression. such thin lines between these words. synonyms are found. ones you don't find in the dictionary. the unconscious world that is dreams is no better than life awake. sometimes worse. the thoughts that taunt you during the day become images at night. a movie you can't pause. how do you hide from your own mind? how ironic. you meet them in your dreams only to awake and reach to hands not there. a cold pillow. never there. at least not anymore. try to move on? find something friends and family deem as "better" for you. date these "better for you" people. wear a facade of faces all painted with smiles and promise you're happy. lie to everyone. lie to yourself. lie until the lines of truth blur and you begin to believe your bullshit. only for a moment though. just long enough to catch your breath. aside from pretending you're happy there is nothing I could give as advice. the mere reason to write this at all is to let you know you're not alone. and alone all the same. walls you can't climb, screams to deaf ears, trapped within your own skin, nobody can get in. a prisoner in your own body. some sleep with their pride, some with regret. did I exhaust all options? did I make the right decisions? should-uh could-uh would-uh. didn't. didn't. Live with it. i've lost him. what a funny thing to say. he's not lost. i could actually tell you where he is most of the time. always just a few miles away from me. so why does it feel like worlds? death is the only end, i could always try. right? wrong. only a person who understands the paragraphs preceding this one could begin to comprehend. life only gives you a few chances. a few breathes. a few moments set aside. forever in a day. forever in your mind. ever has it been that love knows not its own depth until the hour of separation. dver has it been that there is love. ever has it been that there is life, its enemy.
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[06 Apr 2008|02:52pm] |
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Je suis mal dans ma peau...et j'en souffre
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[05 Apr 2008|11:09pm] |
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well. you know. fuck it. i mean... i thought it would be fun. i thought it would be a good time. but whatever. im not going to try anymore.
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| fuck my computer |
[03 Apr 2008|09:14pm] |
its been acting up for a few months now. only its been realllllllllllly bad the past day or two. its been having a really hard time starting up. the disc drive doesnt open, and when i force it to open it doesnt read the cd.
can i please just trade it in for a brand new nice computer and not have to pay please??
*sigh*
im going to the computing commons tomorrow to see if they will help me. otherwise iw ill have to take it to some weird ass place to get it fixed and i know they will over charge me.
COCK.
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